My Puddle

In the darkness of the light
alone
in the shadow
diminished
taken away
not cared for
or about
that's me
forming a puddle

without a voice
innocence taken
without words
pain in the past
pain in the tears
pain in the laughter
staring at
my puddle

broken chains
severed ties
silent screams
still
no voice
no air
to carry sound
pain without agony
drowning
in my puddle

dissappointment in self
ashamed and content
knowing nothing else
ignorant from truth
confused
cast away
set aside
to sit
alone
in the corner
in my puddle

a puddle
of tears
that have proved
nothing
that have solved
nothing
me alone
in my puddle
sorry for me
my own sympathy
PITY
in my puddle

Airing Laundry

you look at me with pain & disgust

you remember when i went out and did my dirt
never wondering were my feelings hurt
you wondered if i thought of you
while jumping from him to him, then back to you

you thought that i was frivalous to spite you
when all along i only wanted you
but i was second on your list of loves
i should be second to no one, i was above

but you were too busy asking how i could do it
never stopping to ask yourself why i did it
you never asked yourself, and you never asked me
cause if you would have, you could've clearly seen

the rules were simple from the start
i was not the ONE that had your heart
you say you knew right from the start
is it my fault you chose to conceal your heart?

you should have said what was on your mind
then i could have given us more time
but like the rules clearly state
"My Main Girl" is off limits all the rest we can rotate

trying so hard to save face at home
you let your supposed "LOVE" get gone...

brown eyes

just our eyes meet
and i dont see any more of you
i just feel lust
and want
and yearn

just our eyes meet
and i dont know your past
or care to know
for that
doesnt matter

just our eyes meet
and i could jump into your arms
take control and let nature
take its course
of course

just our eyes meet
and i can feel my center pulsate
with curiousity
longing for your touch
just you touching me

just our eyes meet
and i cant stand the heat
in this kitchen
and so
i look away and smile inside

...until our eyes meet again

JUST FOR TONIGHT

a quiet room
just you and i
darkness and silence
fill our minds
your eyes & mine
they meet
now it is time
i've waited
now it is time
acting as though
there is no him and no her
we walk closer, embrace, caress
kiss while grasping the moment
holding it tight
never wanting to let go
but knowing this is
just for tonight
just fot today
not to be taken past these four walls
this is our present
not our past
nor our future
just for tonight
to have and have not
to hold and let go
to want and want not
just for tonight
with emotions aside
just lust in our eyes
with warm subtle kisses
long girating thrusts
sweat that is so bitter sweet
no one will know
just you and i
from this night to the grave
our passion disclosed
while we were unclothed
together for one night
just us two
to enjoy the lust
that bound us until now
until tomorrow
when we once again will be
you & her
him & me

denied

when she saw him
she could stop him
and just kiss him
she lusted for him

she could disrespect her
she'd overlook her
pay no mind to her
as if there were no her

she'd caress him
gently bite him
scratch, nibble, and pinch him
just to start with him

she'd blush when she saw him
as she made eye contact with him
just one night embraced in him
being consumed by him

i tried to stop her
i tried to warn her
before she got caught
anyways...
she is not what he sought

for her from me

well ma

i didnt really want him
just needed him
to fulfill me
embrace me
taste me
caress & undress me
bring out the best of me
show me
console me
hold & mold me

yet you felt the pain
of the pressure
but
i never wanted
to hurt you
never thought
he'd desert you
for me
and all i wanted
was the passion
the pleasure
of the pressure
inside me
exploding
within me

never knowing
that you knew
of me
that you hated me
while all along
i just wanted
ectasy
to fulfill
my curiousity
of sharing bodies
with this man
who was your man

well ma

i apologize
for ruining
your lives
with no reprise
unimpressed
and not concerned

that woman

her eyes told me her story
yet, she never said a word
i knew from our initial...
confrontation
that she was one of them
with the sun in her eyes
yet the toll heavy on her soul
with the world in her bosom
and pain too much for even her to bare

a soul misdirected
subjected to being disrespected
such beauty
but not in the eye
of the men that beheld her
she was the moon
that shined in the night
but as falling stars
flew passed her
she grew more vacant
vacant in feeling
vacant in thought
life would pass her by
but still that light in her eyes
showed the hope
that there
may be hope
just maybe

she sang her song
silent but proud
she danced in broken mirrors
and smiled only on the inside
with tears held back
a servant to her past
yet she clenched her future
with both hands
tied behind her back
she pledged to strive on
through life's crusades
make the best of the worst

standards in place
ever growing and still
that WOMAN
strives on
she goes on
until there are no more
roads to travel
backs to rub
children to pacify
friends in need
sons at war
daughters to console
or partners to hold down...
she is a WOMAN

walking alone

what is the answer
how far down must i go
how far down is the bottom
i've heard them say
she'll get up when she hits rock bottom
but how far is rock?
i've heard it must get worse before it gets better
but how much worse?


ones journey through life
is it in vain?
is it in suffering?
why have we been put here to go through the rain?
to go through the struggle
why can a baby come into this world and never know happiness?
who's sick twisted game is this?
how can one go through life and never know love?
how can one go through life living forbidden love?
is love to be forbidden?
oxymoron maybe...

when is the right time?
when is that big game anyway?
does hard work really pay off in the end?
fighting and losing
constantly and endlessly
who has subjected us to this torture
the rules to this life are hateful
vindictive and cruel
many questions with no answers
maybe...just walk, and dont ask why!