Vicious Cycle

it was never physical
it was never about
running home at lunch
to please you
not about making you climax
with that little thing I do

it was you
it was me
it was us
exposed
it was pure
so pure and real
surreal
for real

i miss the soft
gentle caress
of your hands
i miss the comfort
i felt in your arms
i miss laying there
breathing heavily
sweating
heart racing
after climaxing
just looking at you
thinking
~dam that was great

the thing is
after the climax
after the heart
pounding
blood
racing
after all
was said and done
it was
like clockwork
you
excused yourself
cleaned up
said bitter sweet
goodbyes
you
walked out my door
racing home
to play
house

now, i miss you
but i don't miss that
so when you
think of me
replay the memories
great times
we had
don't feel sad
just know
that this is not
what I wanted
but what had to be
I love you
just couldn't
keep pretending that was ME!