Dark to better days.

captivating
she placed her hand on the mic
she had waited for this moment
far back as she could recall

she stood there blinded by the light
both feet firm on the ground
she opened her mouth
oh the glory she delivered

she told of souls broken
hearts unhealed
men who cheated
women with closets full of bones

she was them and they
they were her
she had been a hustler
a thief & a cheater

but her words
they healed
they revealed a better day
a better way

her experience was telling
she was changed
she had found deliverance
from the depths of the words

she spoke harmony into them
she touched them with the flow
she was an addict of abuse
a diciple of deceipt

she thought as they did
she was herself a wolf
never retreating
never giving in

she was complex
a woman til the end
she had been queen and whore
a midguided beast


gentle as a rose
but be weary of her thorns
beautiful yet viscous
tormenting while soothing

she contradicted everything
they thought they knew about her
she...
she was love

she was stillettos with worn out souls
she had walked the block
been around the corner
more than a few times

she was a pimp
even a hoe
she was a genius
yet the dumbest you'd ever met

she coulda been so much more
but instead she was limited
she blocked her self
greatness hadnt become her

she was...
a woman
she was real
she was ME

it was captivating
i placed my hand on the mic
i had waited for this moment
far back as i can recall

i stood there blinded by the light
both feet firm on the ground
i opened my mouth
and the glory was delivered.

Saving Me

touch my heart
place your healing on my soul
chase away my burdened days
fill my mind with memories of hope

give me some love
pure like the rays of the sun
on time like the dawn of day
soothing like a sunset

allow happiness to be permanent
with gracious blessings
disconnect my troubled past
see into my future

keep me uplifted
resurect my heavy
fill me with ease
please. please

save me from myself
come out of our hidden past
directly into our present
and become the future

replace tears of sadness
with those of joy
no longer playing games
this is real and forevermore

Dont Stop

my body is my temple
is it also yours
do you claim to be
in control of all that is me?
the way your hands play lyrics over my lines
you gently write melodic tunes
to my sexual advances
your genius at work
never missing a beat
ohhh that beat
sending me into convulsions
of erotic
thoughts
perverted scenarios
spiritual satisfaction
mental stimulation
reacting & retracting
you're adding your self
while subtracting my day
multiplying the sensation
you divide my legs
it all equals explosive chemistry
deeper than you or me
cause you are so much a part of me
deep inside my soul
beyond anything i can control
there
bare
wearing nothing but transparency
truth be told
your hand to hold
caressing & undressing
nothing else needed
i've begged and pleaded
never leave me here untreated
you know i need it
gotta have it
any which way you serve it
loving your lovin
baby
just keep it coming.

Who Knew...?

i always thought you'd be there
in my heart i knew and still do
that you were the one
does love mean
...we were supposed to be US?

love means when im down
you come to mind first

when i laugh
i look around to see if you're laughing too

when i cry
i wish you were there to hold me
and say
...all will be okay

when im alone
i think of when you were here

when i dream
i dream for us both

when i touch myself
i wish they were your hands
ALWAYS
and yes still

when i leave
i will leave a piece of me
here with YOU

who knew after all this time
i would be in this place...?

THIS HERE?

SEX
PASSION
LUST
WANT
YEARN
NEED
FEEL

EMBRACED
CAPTURED
THIS
...US

SAVE ME

"place your pain in MY hand
leave you worries at the door
hang up your stress
and allow ME to massage away your day
do not be afraid
indulge
do not hestitate
jump
close your eyes
walk out on faith
your strength is within
release and allow yourself to give
...receive
let go of your past
only focus on the future
do not allow what happened
control what is to be
allow your heart to sing its song
its healing
fear will only consume you
you will never be free
leave your troubles here
and take this walk with ME
the possibilities are endless
once you truly give in
you will see all things
come to light"

These are the words I heard
I was no longer in control
I rose to my feet and placed both hands in the air
I closed my eyes
and the tears began to fall
It was a long journey
one I will not soon forget
one foot in front of the other
I took the walk
with every step
the past was left behind
when I reached the alter
I dropped to my knees
I confessed my sins
asked for forgiveness
then I forgave myself
That was the day
...the day I was saved

LOST

when you left
you took my
last breath
i was
frozen in time
waiting on...
your return
the day you left
i was
empty
withdrawn
felt like
there were 100 bricks
on my chest
like I had jumped
off a building
and I've been
falling
ever since
like i was
drowning
and still
i hold
my breath
like i
had been stabbed
but the suspect
was still
committing the crime


i feel now
like im running out of time
feel like
you need to know
that there will never
be another me
you made
big mistakes
there was never a day
i wasnt down for you
you had it better
than any man
you lost a great thing
lost
remember that word
this will Never happen again

the lost gift

just about a week ago
i was writing of this gift
i found
now sitting here wondering
why you're so low down
cant get passed
the sudden decision
that you made
would have never predicted this
you said you loved me
but you didn't show it
you sang love songs
while we made love
i cant imagine
what goes on in your head
i should have never
allowed you into my bed
you say that time
doesn't keep us apart
but i don't understand
what is in your heart
its seems as though
when you feel love
you run
acting that way
will only lead you astray
my heart breaks
a little more each day
you said you'd be here
and you'd never go away
i was completely full
and here i am
as empty as can be
you said one thing
but continue to do another
words can not express
this slow disintegration
of my heart
i havent been heart broken
in some time now
i dont like the feeling
and this has to be the worst
because you leave without
notice
you just cut all communication
i wont begin to tell you
the things i've contemplated
because you would never
believe me
you are a selfish man
a pitiful man
a dam shame
a waste
i cant believe
this is the man i love
yes still
LOVE
stupid me
I know

trying haiku

Raindrops on a leaf
they roll down ever so slow
wanting to feel love

I get it

I wish you were different
but I can not change you
I wish more for us
but I can not make you
this wont be long
and I wont draw it out
I get it
I only wish you would have
called and told me
I have no ill feeling
just a little confused
it was fun at times
I pray you find
someone willing to accept
the way you choose to love
i obviously...
cant handle it!

this gift...

like two wolves in the desert
howling at the moon
we are drawn by something
so much bigger than us
not negotiated or rehearsed
this is instinct
so natural and unexplainable

there was no preparation
no studying for this test
not easier said than done
this here is a piece of cake
emotional fulfillment
and an explosive attraction
science like
could cause a nuclear reaction

other's stare
attempting to hate
there is no separating this pair
this union is strong
no lying or snitching
no cheating, no bitching
we only cry happy tears
over here
been doing this love thing for years

i am his equal
but he is my king
i walk beside him
but he treats me like his queen
his chocolate complexion
against my caramel tone
his luscious lips
pressed up against mine
cant stay away for too long
he is the sun
that brightens my day
he will always be a part of me
for our entire eternity

i give thanks everyday
for this joy i've found
i pray and ask HIM
to keep you with me always.