Prisoner of time

he stands here
just here
like a piece of the furniture
there's nothing
love? lust? what's that?
it's been so long since...
since anything
and he's just here
like nothing will change
he acts as though
i should do right by him
has he done right by me?
and her?
let's not even start on her
she came into our life
she never left
she's always there
and always here
i opened my home
for what?
for her
and her baggage
this isnt normal
and it's turned into
upside
and
down
he was frivulous
just out there
i had to hear from
where?
the streets?
u expecting a seed?
OH, the denials
on and on
over and over
how could he have done this
to us?
there is no excuse
and there is no romance
but we have a family
so im staying put
no way, im not leaving
i've earned him
been here through thick and thin
and thin and thick
but her?
oh that b*tch
she thinks i dont know
but its OK
so what, they get along great
and who asked if they have
things in common?
we were supposed to get married
until she showed up
that b*tch
ive been the one who's been here
i helped him out
i pay the bills
and i derserve him
she's just that b*tch
that got pregnant
so yeah
i tried
u know
to forgive
and forget
but that b*tch
she never leaves
she's here
and he's there
and it's not really that i even care
but what will people think?
so what they're meant to be
who asked them
i won
he's mine
i've been here
and i won't let him go
not even if i have to stay here
miserable
and look at him
just look at him
he's miserable too
he probably wants to go
find her
but who asked him
i won
he's mine
and the kids
there are the kids
what impression have
we...
given them?
oh but who cares
i wont let him go to her
he'll stay here
with me
so we
can be
miserable together.

stagnant water

a precious moment
and a sacred space
a twinkle in the eye
on a smiling face

your life and mine
destined for utter bliss
brought together through fate
but with an awkward twist

the doors of hell wide open
for us to fall right through
not intended for deceit
but what where we to do?

mates of the soul, us two
no obstacles can last
we have conquered all
from our abnormal past

how are we as soul mates
destined to be one
when we find ourselves here
with still no future begun?

no answers to pacify
the emotions that are true
not one day passes by us
that we dont push on and pursue

the world on our shoulders
each moment still subdued
we are dormant in this
struggling to make it through

long time coming

calm and peaceful
words unnecessary
the touch
the caress
the past
not belonging
together
you ~ I
never complete
here in the door
the door that leads to us
the bolts put in place
by those too noisy to understand
to involved to see
the love that is WE
the ups the downs
the past
yesterday and tomorrow
no one knows
the love we share
when no one is there
the bond our hearts have made
without the permission of even us
how have we come to this place
where you can taste me from miles away
and i can hold you for days
the embrace of the forbidden
the clasp of our lust
but we must recognize strength
and the force that drives us
is not us
but the strength of something more
powerful, wonderful, emotional
but so immoral
what is the answer
when does it end
this tormenting cycle
that cannot be won
how is it to play out
and when will we know
the heart that is mine
belongs to him
and no one can ever find
the obstacles the pain
and the glory
of none
what is the solution
that plagues us
by us...
for us...
it's US!

gone in 60 seconds

the stress
my stress
in your palms
the absense of noise
the pain of silence

why?...
you?...
here?...
and YES now

the boy who said
I was the one
and left me to fend for me
he asked that I be strong
for me and for he
but all along
he, him, and his heart
were gone
so far
away
why couldn't he see me?
for me?
I was here
mind~body~soul
for him
the one who left
and he
never looked back
he wounded the soul
sucked the blood
out of my life
and never looked back
he wouldnt look back
not for him
not for me
he never looked back

PAIN

the emptiness in my soul is more than I'm willing to handle
the whole world around me exists while I'm at a stand still
I do not accept this pain that is burdened upon me
I can't deal with the emotions, I dont have the ability
what the fuck? how? who? and why do I deserve this?
I dont even have the energy or emotion to get pissed
so I'll sit here in agony and endure all this pain alone
the truth must be that i'm not destined to have a happy home
as much as I hurt and all the tears i've cried
it really doesnt matter it doesnt change the fact that you lied
all i ever wanted was someone to call my true friend
but now its all over what i thought was a friendship has come to an end
so with this i say i hope you have a wonderful life together
while i stand here in pain, suffering, alone, forever

Look denial in the face

I cannot sleep in your arms for you are not mine
I cannot call for your comfort when there is no sunshine

I cannot hold you tight when I experience fear
I cannot put my head on your shoulders when I shed tears

I cannot whisper in your ear and tell you how I care
I cannot wake up in the morning and expect you to be there

I cannot look into your eyes and see our future together
I cannot dream of us living a long life forever

I cannot hope for a change, I knew when I met you
I knew I couldnt have you, but never that I'd regret you

DROWNING

The breath escapes my lungs
It's trapped in my brain
I can't breathe
I'm falling
Where am I?
What's going on?
Where are you?
H E L P
Come back
I can't see you
Don't leave me
My blood isn't flowing
My legs won't move
I can't feel my fingers
My heart stopped beating
I can't concentrate
What's happening to me?
Why aren't you helping me?
When will this end?
I can't move
I need air
Can anyone hear me?
I must be dying...


No my dear...He's gone. You've lost him. Let him go. You'll get over it, it's just a broken heart

INNOCENT NO MORE

I HEARD HIS BREATH AND FELT HIS HEART BEAT
HIS HANDS WERE COLD AND OH SO INDISCREET

MY INNOCENCE ASIDE HE DEVOURED AND STOLE
MY AIR ESCAPED ME...NOTHING...NOT EVEN MY SOUL

THE MAN THAT WAS TO BE THE ROCK, OUR SUN AND
HIS PRESENCE, HIS PRESENTS, IMMORAL, BUT ABUNDANT

INNOCENCE STOLEN, VANISHED, NOT REMAINING
BY MY KING WHO LIFTED THE PURITY, NO LONGER SUSTAINING