time

memories that tear
& dare to compare
old days
lost ways
our souls
lost control
while we wandered
and wondered
what our futures held
we were compelled
try to spell out our paths
would we last?
or just dwell on the past
memories enriched & strong
for so long
we tried
and cried
between love & lust
we found trust
we lost hope
& still we cope
and strive
just happy to be alive
here us two
all we've come through
joy & pain
we maintain
while delegating our strain
our blood pumps
through us
holds &
molds us
affliction of affection
pure & true connection
can lead us
in the right direction
completely
fully & truly
who? WE
just ...
you & me

letting go

you say you love me
do you really?
will you love enough
to let me go?
you wont chose me
so let me be
you're selfish
you want to have it all
you wont step up
or stand up
so sit back
and take what you are given
you said i made you...
feel good
relax
feel comfortable
be yourself
we can drink & smoke
fuck & joke
laugh & play
cuddle & lay
but somehow
it's not enough
to keep you
here...
or keep you
near...


what goes around
comes back around
karma is a bitch
this is evident
once upon a time
until THE END...
no, not us
not now
or ever
let me go
so i can grow
for the love
or lack there of
but let me go
let me turn
and walk away
or run
until i find
that kind
of love
that love's back
enough to say
yes...you
i choose you
enough to make me
complete

look around
when all is said & done
what do we have?
who are you?
a man
that wont be defined
by a choice
so instead you'll hide
step aside
decide not to choose
so WE lose
you'll never know
if love will grow
you'd rather let go
of us
no trust

did u know?

did u know that sometimes i cry
when i'm alone
and you're busy
being you

did u know that sometimes i cry
when you leave
cause you're late
going home

did you know that sometimes i cry
when i give
your time
to someone else

did you know that sometimes i cry
cause i'd rather be
with you
then with him

did you know that sometimes i cry
when you touch my body
so gently
and pierce my soul
did you know?

a letter to daddy...

i am void of the right words to say
so i will use what i can find
i miss u so fucking much
i hate your guts
i want you around when your not
and i want you to leave my sight
when ur near.
what the fuck am i supposed to do now?
i dont have shit left
you hurt me so fuckin deep
i'm sick of crying
but the tears just keep coming
i want to run away and never see u again
but that is not the rational thing to do
why cant u just be gone
i waited & wanted for us
im am disgusted
im hurt
im angry
im sad
i miss u
i want u
i hate u
i love u
i need u
i need u to leave me alone
i dont know what the fuck i'm doing
what am i saying?
i cant do this
i love u
i love u
i fucking love u
do u know what that means?
do u know what that feels like right now??
do u know how much that hurts?
this is the bullshit
i cant do this shit
i am fucking dying inside
i asked u not to do this to me
u promised not to do this to me

simple choice

in the confines of my mind
with us so far behind
without you
this abuse
there's no wishin or hoping
no touching or groping
there's just that what was
no longer us
no longer me
this is no reality
maybe a past moment
and it passed us by
i said goodbye
i cried
cause again u lied
u refused to choose
u never meant me
u said it could be
u never meant us
it was just the lust
thoughts of u having
what u did not deserve
the lack of courage
u wouldnt stand for us
u stood for lust
u stand for the chance
at a glance
to run & hide
dry your eyes
behind closed doors
in the shadow of our past
ur eyes were sincere
but ur mouth told these lies
i knew all along
but still held on
to what...?
im unsure
i tried to endure
the thought that we
could eventually be
but you would not comply
instead you chose to lie
again, and again
now this is the end
i wont do this again
i can not comprehend
how you can stand before me
looking right at me
and ask...
WHAT AM I TO DO?
my answer is simply...
I want you to choose